why do cheetos always look like penises
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
