Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Let's paint friendship bongs
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
