Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
