yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I wear drunk well.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
