do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
