I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize