I will die if light touches me.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
