Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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