Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
