I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
