I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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