may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He felt like a one man threesome
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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