Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Swine flu is the new snow day.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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