Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
