We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
