She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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