I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize