I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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