Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
