I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
