Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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