also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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