don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
