update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
