i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
