even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
