I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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