so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
