i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize