No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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