before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it's like iHOP with fire
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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