Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
