I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
and you said cock pushups were impossible
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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