she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
