Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
