If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize