So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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