pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
