i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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