We're facebook friends in real life
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
