do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
