My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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