IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the day after is always just damage control
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
