butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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