Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
