You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
