I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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