I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
