I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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