So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
