I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
