my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
