In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize