Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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