she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
