We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
