Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
