bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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