O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just want to make out with him forever
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
