My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
