It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
