Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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