Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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