is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i think my tv is drunk
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
