3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
