Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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