If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
