His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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