the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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