So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
