why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
