I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
