Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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