you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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