dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
