remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
