it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
