I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
