I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think people are normalizing furries
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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